A Bear's Happy Boredom

 

            Once upon a time, Teddy the Norwegian mountain bear decided he was tired of life, or more specifically, he was tired of what other bears had made life out to be. Since childhood, Teddy was forced to get up very early in the morning; so early, the dew hadn’t even risen up the grass stalks. Teddy then had to commute by way of a very cramped path to the center of the forest where all other sleepless bears congregated for their daily duties.

            Everyone had a meager job, such as clawing trees to keep time, negotiating with the foreign ministry of the bees, or chasing off illegal alien humanoids. All this was fun when Teddy was just a teenage cub, but he now wanted more. He felt he had grown an imagination and the bear society’s repetitive schedule restricted his freedom.

            Teddy wanted to do back flips in flower fields, lie all day in a stream and let the water cool his fur, climb tree tops and yell at the sun. Then, when it finally left, yell at the moon to get the sun to come back.

            Teddy lived his life in his dreams. He daydreamed so much that he got demoted from assistant bee negotiator to worm digger. This job involved sitting on his ass all day long in one spot and clawing at the ground. Teddy gained weight without any physical activity. He was constantly tired and could no longer dream, and so, he could no longer live. He reclined in his mind and his thoughts of the day. He began to imagine himself as an independent bear that could do anything at anytime. Teddy knew this would mean giving up girls, but he didn’t much enjoy wasting his time in idle conversation. He only enjoyed the cherry on top which only came once a year during mating season. Teddy soon gave up hope of a utopian forest, but was too lazy to do anything about it. He wouldn’t even lift a finger to end his misery.

            Teddy slept past morning work, and slept past yelling at the moon. He regained the ability to dream and found he could do so nonstop, drifting in and out of consciousness. This went on for a week, when Teddy noticed he hardly lost any health at all. All the fat he had built up digging worms was sustaining him through his bed tumble. Teddy decided to barricade himself up in his den and sleep until he could sleep no more. He found no enticing reason to rouse until times were better.

            Teddy slept for two years, three months, two weeks, and six hours. When he finally woke up, he found himself extremely thin. He could see his bones through his hide, which sagged like silly putty from his limbs. Teddy went out to find a wonderful spring in full bloom. There was an immense amount of things he wanted to do, foods he wanted to eat, and stars to shout at. He found that there were many fewer bears around, and their work and society was falling apart. It turns out, word had spread of his slumber, and other bears tired with boredom went into hibernation as well.

            Now Teddy could be a loner and have fun at all times. Mating came and passed and he had an excellent mate. He went back into hibernation next fall and did so for the rest of his days. The bear society broke up, but the species managed to thrive based on a bear by bear basis.

 

2006